im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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