you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
