She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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