Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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