she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
