I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
