Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
