She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
