who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize