I just saw a hot homeless man
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
