PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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