omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
