It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just saw a hot homeless man
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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