I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
