Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
