Me. At least after what I've been through.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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