singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I supernannyed him into submission
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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