First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I see more hoeing in ur future
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