i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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