she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize