Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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