How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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