IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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