Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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