the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
