I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
