i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
