Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you didnt know i had herpes?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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