Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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