So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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