I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
