Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize