Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
