At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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