I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
