Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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