she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
