At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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