i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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