In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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