hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
