my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
