those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
