Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
