but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
