Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
