If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
