dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
