a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
