do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
