so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
