his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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