It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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