You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
