i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
