cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
