Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
