where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
