I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
