clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
