If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
