I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize