Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
